A Truth - By Temi Adepoju

(With humble permission from a friend, Temi Adepoju, who wrote this..don't think I could've articulated it better..read on..)

As women we are divine beings- made to love and be loved- I mean, men want and need to be loved as well- but women - we need it on a whole new level. We can choose to accept this important part of our makeup or deny it and run away from it- creating a lot of uneccessary pain, hurt and bad choices (in love).I've always believed we have much more at stake as women- afterall, we're the species that release the hormone progesterone after sex -talk about catching feelings faster and deeper than the guy- Then we have the babies (lets not even talk about the excruciating pain of that), whose umbilical cords contains this magical hormone as well so we're designed to always be in tune with our offspring and cannot abandon them- unlike most animals in nature. We are usually the #1 caregivers and home makers, the nurturing mammals under whose care the family blossoms, we're instinctive and intuitive, basically able to plan stages ahead for the unexpected and all over the world we are the worker bees, the mules and the pack horses (especially black women) . There're more women engaged in breadwinning activites including farming, both in developing countries and the West! So whats the point of having all of the responsibilty and none of the glory, sweetness, the loving, the divine feminine aspects? None! But we do this to ourselves- we let ourselves be treated like pack mules, instead of the beautiful, fragile, but strong creatures we are. Remember, "people treat you the way you let them" (Oprah W.)Let me break it down this way- Sisters- enjoy your femininity, elevate your womanhood, revel in your abilities, enjoy the love and respect of your men- and teach your little girls not just how to be the 'little helpers' but how to engage the boys and men in their lives to support, protect and love them. Teach the boy-child how to love and protect his sisters/mothers/cousins, how to encourage and help them flower into beautiful powerful beings- If your men won't then teach these boys the practicals of cooking, opening the door for ladies, ideals of 'ladies first', holding out the dining chair and all around chilvalry- don't complain about the lack of these qualities (as if you're not contributing)- afterall we're mainly in charge of raising the family and crafting these young 'uns minds and behaviors. (No doubt, I've made a huge assumption that you've chosen your mate, carefully and in faith that you have the same ideals, and plan to walk the earth and grow together as long as possible- and he is your #1 supporter)Speak your truth, speak it often- take time out for yourself. Allow yourself to be pampered- ask for it! Show and tell- don't expect a mind read ladies- especially if your guy is african- most likely he wasn't brought up this way- but I assure you he is willing and open to pleasing his queen, the way she pleases him and blesses his life with her love, grace and beauty!

Asa's coming to Lagos! Finally!

Latest and hottest thing happening in Lagos this coming weekend: Asa the great will be in town!

Performing at the Civic Centre June 14th 2008. Tickets N15,000

2nd show @ Oceanview Restaurant in VI - June 15th 2008. Tickets N10,000

Apparently she will be showcasing her new album. Another new album while the current one is still raging? Wonderful abi? I've never seen her in concert before..the late bloomer that I am. If I go to the show, I'll be sure to post my review.

Ciao.

Notes on Happiness..

(Written 16th April 2008)

"It is God who gives happiness, true happiness, not man. If you try to seek or get your happiness from the world, it will always escape you. You won't get it". "Life is too short my dear, for you not to be happy from 'within'. make sure you lead a life that's happy". This was my Aunt Anita talking to me last night. I cannot begin to tell you, how badly I needed to hear that. She'd been in Nigeria for the past two weeks with my cousins (her sons) to bury her husband (my late Uncle Ayo). We were having a long chat late into the night about many things; mostly about her, life, etc. I found it amazing that even in the thick of her grief over the sudden loss of her husband and the one tru love of her life, that she was still able to say these words and make me a believer. So just as I was leaving and saying goodbye to her, as it was very late at night and I still had to drive quite a distance back home, was when she said those words above to me. It felt like she was sent specifically to say that to me. The directness and randomness of it was quite eerie. I realized in that moment, that those words were specifically intended for me to hear. And to top it all off, the timing couldn't have been more appropriate. Those words have since had me pondering. It is indeed true, that our happiness should not be made to be anybody else's burden or responsibility. It is specifically because we do that, that it is so fleeting and inconsistent. Happy today, misery-filled the next, maybe even angry the next day after that. Unhealthy. Take charge of your own joy and don't leave it to someone else to manage for you. I think of this conversation everyday...especially on a day such as this..

Saymama’s Favorite Things: The June 2008 Edition

Here are a list of things that I’m loving right now…

1.Hooter Hiders - Whenever I’m moody ‘cause I’m broody, I’m all over this site. I think they make such cool gifts to new and nursing mothers and they come in a variety of different cool colors and patterns. Imagine these in Ankara patterns? Hmmm….

2. Azaria Vudu Bag – My good friend and Lagos-based bag designer Buki De La Zaria* designed this hit of a bag. When I returned home after my one year hiatus in early December last year, this bag was all the rave in Lagos. I got me one in blue. It’s huge and perfect for that awful Heathrow ‘one carry-on bag only’ policy type travel. It’ll house your laptop for the flight, a sweater or pashmina, wipes, duty free purchases and every other thing that you’d ordinarily patrol the airport with and more! For more details on how to get this bag, or to check out other Azaria gems for the modern African gal, email me at saymama@hotmail.com for more details. And click here for other a bit more info on Azaria.

3. Marc Jacobs Daisy perfume – Oh my! This scent is

absolutely divine! It’s my favorite perfume ever and it coups my nearly two decade long love for Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel. It is light, sophisticated, modern and has the ability to make me feel beautiful, from the inside out. Not to mention the gorgeous bottle it comes in.

4. Sasha’s CD – this young and sassy female MC’s current album is off the chains! I first saw her on stage back in 2003 where she opened for Joe’s concert at the Oceanview in Lagos for the valentine’s weekend concert (my first ever concert in Nigeria I must add!). I remember her performance being solid, original and very well coordinated (with her dancers). I remember thinking, our very own Naija female rapper? And she pulled it off? Fantastic! This was when I first noticed the trend and re-emergence of bonafide and talented Nigerian artistes bursting on the scene. Blog notes for another day. Back to Sasha. The second encounter with her was at Tejusho market about 2 and half years ago (before it burnt down, sob!). I was standing in front of a sequins stand making a purchase when she came up to the same stand to do the same. She then said to me “are you a designer or stylist?” I said, “no. Aren’t you Sasha the rapper?”. She smiled sweetly and said yes. We went on to have a nice little conversation and I gave her my card. She was so personable. Then I was in traffic just a few days ago, feening for some new music material to listen to since I pretty much have a collection of all the popular naija music that’s out right now. Then I realized I’d heard snippets of her more recent work but was hesitant to buy the entire album. Anyway, on this day I bought it. Put it in the cd player and boy was I beyond impressed!! It rocks! The material is original, ‘grooveable’, and almost each track gave up something new and different with a good flow throughout; which is rare. I looooove it! This you must get! She deserves all the success she gets and much more. I must alert the TB onto this new CD. We share a love and appreciation for the impressive emerging naija music scene. Sasha is definitely and unquestionably one of our finest “Proudly Nigerian” export yet. And she’s here to stay. Eve needs to top her hat off to our home girl. Plus they have a couple things in common; they are both First Ladies of their record labels. Sasha P (as she is fondly called) is the First Lady of hot Nigerian label, Storm Records. Saymama gives 4.5 stars out of 5!
Favorite tracks:
-Adara (track 3)****
-Only One (track 4)***
-Not 2nite (track 5)**** (this track is perfect for an open rooftop drive in a 4-wheeler of your choice, be it an Escalade, Rover Sport, or the GL 450 wagon, which I’m loving to no end right now, with cool or hot air blowing through that long hair or $600-weave..LOL!)
-Baba mi (track 9),
-Run with it (track 13),
-E wa ba mi jo (track16)*

5. Farafina Magazine – This magazine is published by Kachifo and also affiliated with Farafina book publishers; publishers of the local versions of popular books by Nigerian authors Half of a Yellow Sun, Everything Good Will Come, Purple Hibiscus, Goodbye Lucille, etc.

It’s a shame that this publication is not made more widely available. Perhaps that’s intentional? However, I would tell you that the articles are of the intellectual ilk, insightful and extremely well written, touching on Nigerian/African issues that other media shun to discuss and talk about. I comes out once every 3 months (I think, please do not quote me on this) and features some of the most interesting topics you’d ever come across. You can find the online version of the magazines here and if you’re in Lagos you can pick up a copy at Glendora’s or Quinessence at the Falomo Shopping Centre on Awolowo Road, Ikoyi.

Sex And The (Lagos) City

Blimey, it’s June already! So much has happened this year, and I just had to propel myself out of my self-inflicted anti-blogging mode and get back into the “blog” of things. I have lots to post, but let’s start with the most pressing topic on my brain at the moment; the Sex in the City movie!! This is a review as well as the experience endured in the process of trying to see this movie yesterday – The Lagos experience.

First off, kudos to the Silverbird Cinemas people for making sure they brought the movie to Nigeria and it was being released here the same day as it was in the UK, United States and every other major city in the world that’s filled with Sex (Carrie and co.) crazed fans. And I might add, that makes Lagos a major world city, whether that’s acknowledged internationally or not is another issue entirely. But this weekend, we Lagosians were proud world citizens.

So, back to the actual experience. My dear friend BDZ, aptly planned a themed party-gathering type social event around the movie. Just like several groups of girlfriends around the world were getting together with limo Sex In The City –themed parties, BDZ planned a champagne cocktail party at the Silverbird theatre for a whole bunch of people, along with text messages instructing us to dress up fashionably conscious and like your favorite Sex* character – or whom you think yourself to be most like. Personally, I think I’m most like Miranda with inner specs of Charlotte and Carrie. But I’d say 70% Miranda. Anyway, getting all excited in anticipation for this excuse to be socially “among”, I tried to gather as many of my friends as possible to be part of this exercise, and you can imagine how tough that was, I don’t really have that many friends in Lagos. After all, the whole point of Sex* is the relationships we have primarily with our girlfriends. And the friends of mine that truly fall into that category for me are all scattered on a couple different continents you see. Nonetheless, I tried to gather a few of my good ones living here in Lagos and classically, they each fell out of the plan, due to one excuse or the other. ND dropped out, because she was pissed she’d lost her diamond pendant the night before, so she definitely was in no mood for camaraderie (and I don’t blame her), and AP had babysitter issues and couldn’t leave her kids, and BIM (my favorite cousin in law) had exams the following day, so as all smart girls should, she prioritized – “exams over Sex*”. I don’t know if I would’ve been so graceful. So as a result, I ended up going by myself as I couldn’t bare to wait another day while the rest of the world watched and had they’re fill. It had already been 2 days since it opened, and I couldn’t wait another. Tried to see it on Friday, the day it actually opened, drove my zealous self to Silverbird to try to reserve tickets for the evening showing, got there and was told that the movie was “on ground” and at the “airport” but not yet actually in the theatre yet. Hilarious bordering on the ridiculous. But for Carrie, I rose above those issues and faithfully pressed on. Then I was told by the ticket agent that he’ll “personally” try to reserve tickets for me and will call me in a couple of hours to confirm. Then I got a call from ND that she heard Nike Oshinowo was having a red-carpet event to commemorate the opening, which I took to mean that she took it upon herself to have a “Sex in the City Premiere” event in Lagos. O-K, I thought to myself in exasperation. Nike is about to cramp my style and possibly make it impossible for me to get tickets on the opening day. The mere thought of my sister and friends watching it in the States before me, made me want to bite somebody. Myself at this point. In any event, all attempts to watch Sex on Friday went up in pink hazy smoke (smoke is already hazy, right? Whatever). With my tail between my legs, I went home and looked forward to watching it on Sunday (yesterday) instead along with BDZ’s posse event.

Fast forward to Sunday. BDZ had reserved and gotten almost 60 tickets for a bunch of people for the 5pm show. But champagne and small chops were in waiting beforehand and a critical analysis party to discuss the movie afterwards. I got there at about 4.30pm (rushed there actually, as I wasn’t for any reason not going to get a good seat or miss a minute of the movie starting) and a section beside the popcorn stand had been quardroned off for “us”. I got there to meet with a thick diva stink in the air, girls checking out other girls (uniquely Naija style), designer bags looking like designer weapons and ladies looking Carrie/Samantha/Miranda/Charlotte-ified. I guess that was the whole point. And I admit, I wore a floaty wrap dress with a flower in the corner, casually over jeans, as I imagined it was the type of outfit Miranda would wear. And in the movie, I even had a similar hairstyle to hers (except my hair color wasn’t ginger ;-) ). There was a photographer arranged and waiting and after feeling starred down enough and just totally outta place with the vibes, I decided to quietly get my popcorn sans champagne and chops and go into the theatre to get myself a good seat and wait.

Drama in the theatre. It turns out that a few girls from Team Champagne had gotten the same idea and had decided to come into the theatre to sit and wait. Made sense as it was 13 minutes to 5 and the movie was meant to start at 5pm. I sat in the 2nd row from the top and it turned out that BDZ had originally reserved the top 3 rows for Team Champagne, but due to poor communication on the part of the cinema folks, nobody was manning the area to make sure that other people don’t sit there and the said tape (which I didn’t see as of the time I got into the theatre to sit down) sectioning off the area had been broken and regular people sat there. By the time I got in, the first row was fully packed and seated with people. The manager now comes in to tell the seated folk to get up as those seats had been reserved. They refused to get up, saying that they were not told of any such thing. I’d imagine that other regular folk who walked into the theatre to be seated “on time” before the movie starts, did not see the tape either and proceeded to sit in the top rows as they pleased. With random comments flying across the theatres as people expressed their disgust at the notion of being told to stand up for reserved seats for a special ‘lot’ of people and daring the cinema staff to not show the movie, 5pm finally rolled round and the previews to the movie started. By the third preview, all of the sudden the screen went blank and the movie was turned off. In true Naija fashion, you can imagine the uproar that ensued. The movie had been halted because of the seating issue for Team Champagne, and as a former team member, I sat down to watch the drama unfold. The manager finally comes in again, using a microphone to tell the theatre, now chuck full of people, that the first 3 rows had been reserved and the random people sitting there should please get up for Team Champagne and that they will be reimbursed for the “inconvenience” caused along with a free ticket for any other show of their choice. Mr. Manager’s voice was aptly drowned out by the “collective” retort, with people yelling that they did not want to be reimbursed and they were not going to get up for anybody! It was quite comical to say the least. The movie was then postponed till 6pm instead, until the matter was resolved. All in all, the people stubbornly sat in the seats, refusing to get up or be reimbursed and I guess everybody else had to find elsewhere to sit. Not that I blame them; I do think that the cinema company, Silverbird, handled and planned the whole thing quite badly; because honestly, had I been on the other “side”, and I was asked to get up when I was sold a ticket, was not specifically told not to sit in a particular area’, bought my popcorn, ready to enjoy my show, I CERTAINLY would not have gotten up either. Silverbird, should have numbered the seats, since it’s an extremely popular show, coupled with the fact that it was the opening weekend (worldwide). Then they should have sold/reserved seats 1-50 or whatever to Team Champagne and then sold the remaining numbers out to the public. That way, people have to sit according to the numbers on their tickets. That’s what is done in other countries and would have been the smartest thing to do and would have avoided the near riot that almost took place yesterday. And the movie finally started again. *Phew*.

The Movie Review. In an effort not to completely ruin the movie for my dear readers that may not have watched it yet, the movie in my opinion was awesome. Call it chick-flick partiality if you like, but I was a bit leery of how good it would be because of all the pent up hype about it over the last 2 years almost. Because of its immense popularity, there had been a lot of leaks to the press while the movie was being shot in New York City last year. A lot of pictures from the set had also been released by the paparazzi to virtually every soft-sell on the planet. But true and loyal sex in the city fans (like me) patiently waited and ignored the leaks to the story line. In spite of all these, I honestly and objectively thought the movie was VERY good. My sister, who had watched in on Friday (before me :@), and who is also a tough critic, had said to me that she thought it was fantastic also sans Jennifer Hudson’s performance in it. So I looked out for that and tried not to be biased by that comment. She wasn’t great, but she wasn’t half-bad either. Other than that, I thought the storyline was quite authentic, believable and realistic in terms of relationships and their ups and downs. I could identify with a lot of the emotions and feelings in it, as I’m sure a lot of gals could and it wasn’t as predictable as I’d feared it would be. I’d imagine that it is near impossible to make a movie after a very successful run of 6 seasons of a show. One would think, what else is there to tell “really”? And I must say, that they successfully pulled that off. However, focusing on the fashion element of the movie, which is a BIG part of the flow, I think that overall they over did it a bit. While with the series, whenever the girls went out on the town, they made clear fashion statements in accordance with being true New Yorkers, they were also realistic when it came to just hanging out at home, in sweats or old tee-shirts, etc. But with the movie, even in the laid-back home settings, they were always overly and glamorously dressed up, big earrings and all. Hard to keep up. But hey, that’s why it’s a movie I guess – total or partial escape from reality. Feeling rather melancholic afterwards, I Bibanke-d all the way on my drive home. And actually, there were many moments during the movie where I felt that a couple of tracks from Asa’s famed cd would have been so appropriate; many “Bibanke” moments especially – would have been appropriate. As an aside though, we need to get more of our extremely talents Naija artistes on more Hollywood soundtracks. Debate for another day.

On that note, I won’t go any further, ‘cause that would be telling. Saymama gives Sex in the City 5 out of 5 stars ***** (with a few conditions)! Enjoy and let’s banter about it further in my comments section.

Bible Verse for a Broken Heart..

(Written October 2007)

I finally found it! In the depths of my despair earlier this year, I searched and cried for ages, looking for a verse or a reference or something that would settle (soothe?) my frayed nerves and help to heal my sorely broken heart and soul. A balm for the deep cracks. After almost 10 months of highs and lows (mostly lows), while I wasn’t looking, I found it! Psalm 62 and Psalm 63. I could totally have used this back in March of 2007, but reading it now, I feel a fresh soothing, a confirmation that I’m ok. That my soul’s on the mend and that I’m on the cusp of something beautiful.

It’s hard to explain in written word, but I’m sure you get the idea. It is important for us to hold on to some form of faith and hold on to it for dear life; especially when it’s being tested in the midst of an emotional tsunami of issues. I felt so emotionally battered and my world seemed like a pretty dark and grey place. I felt turmoil, confusion, disappointment and deep regret. But day has since broken and I’ve learnt, in place of the regret that I felt, that there was something in it that I had to learn. And one cannot truly learn without first experiencing. I find that I’m ready to face my journey head on and will learn to deal as I am challenged and hope to rise above each time. Higher and higher. Ah Jah Bless…

Catching Up..

Hey people. Happy belated new year :-) ..

I know I know...it's been ages and have had "alot" going on, hence the procastination, hence the absense. Lots of material and trying to get back into the blog flow.

So watch this space :-)

Shalom

A Music Review: Chrisette Michele

I sort of fell upon this artist by accident. I'd heard her popular single on the radio a few times in Philly - 'Be Ok' - and loved it. Had vaguely read about her on a blog and maybe a mention here and there in a couple of magazines, but nothing really registered. But just on the strength of how much I liked the single, I decided to buy the album. I gambled. I hadn't purchased any new music in a while, primarily because I'm not really keen on what's going on in the music space at the moment, especially in the R&B/Hip Hop genres. Now after playing the entire album the first time (and it's been on permanent rotation ever since), I absolutely looove it! Chrisette Michele is unbelieveably talented, in that rare but genuine way, and she lends an incredibly refreshing voice and style to the music arena at the moment. I'd even go as far as to say that this has got to be the best album of the year. She reminds me of a modern day Billy Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald - heart-rung jazz - but with an element of intense sweetness. She's young, fresh, wholesome and authentic.

All the tracks are fantastic, but my favorites are:

- Best of Me (track 4)

- Is this the way love feels*****(track 13)

- Golden*****(track 9)

- Be Ok****(track 7)

I guess I love this album, this amazing piece of work, so much because it speaks to my current state of mind; peaceful, renewed, confident, free, joyful, and almost in love..again...with life. I almost feel like I could have written the words to some of those songs myself.

I hope Chrisette Michele is here to stay. I wish her continued success. But please support this artist and go buy the album or download it from iTunes. You won't regret it.

Saymama gives it 5 out of 5 stars ***** :-). Check her out here.

Beauty For Ashes...

10.12.2007: My childhood friend and a former schoolmate, Tanwa, died today. I’m still in shock as I write this because it feels unreal that she really isn’t here anymore. When things like this happen, it makes me realize how I still find it difficult to grasp and understand the concept of death and that it is a passage that takes you away from your loved ones forever – in the earthly sense of the word. She was only 32 and left behind a beautiful 4-year old girl.

Flashbacks: The last time I saw her was back in January. She’d come to my house in Lagos with her daughter, Ella, to say hello. Before that, we’d spoken on the phone a number of times. We bantered back and forth for a bit, talked careers and caught up generally. It was the first time in quite a few years that Tanwa and I had spent anytime one on one. She looked fine; great in fact. She had on her signature long mid-back length tiny braids. It didn’t (as it usually doesn’t) occur to me that that would be the very last time I would ever see her again.

Flashback Two: I remember another conversation we’d had on the phone in the late summer of 2006. I was in London staying at our mutual friend’s, Funmi – another childhood friend and grew up together with. Before that, I hadn’t really spoken to Tanwa much over the preceding years. To be honest, I was kind of upset with her. I don’t remember exactly why anymore. But Funmi, as always, served as an intermediary and had mentioned to her that I wasn’t happy with her. So she asked Funmi to let her know when I arrive, that she would like to speak to me on the phone (she was still in Ireland at the time). So Tanwa called, Funmi handed the phone to me and she said to me (I’ll never forget), “Oremi, joo, ma binu si mi” – translation: “my friend, please don’t be upset with me”. I was totally disarmed by that as I didn’t quite know what to expect after not having spoken in quite some time. Ofcourse I relented and we squashed the beef there and then. The few times I saw and spoke to her after that, she would repeat it to me again, “oremi, joo, ma binu”. And I had to keep telling her that we were cool. I had looked forward to re-building our friendship, especially since she’d moved back to Lagos from Ireland and we would once again be in close proximity since we were both in the same vicinity again. I had also visualized it would be easier; so much had happened to us as individuals over the years and so much had changed. In her case, she was now a mother and a young woman coming into her own. In my case, I had matured a bit more over the years, on a continous journey of trying to be more patient, less feisty and learning that it’s the smaller things in life that matter the most.

She’d been sick since April and she succumbed to that illness today. She’d been between Ireland and the UK for treatment and I kept meaning to make the time to go and see her. But that’s the thing you see, time had other plans and couldn’t wait for me.

I’m so very sorry Tanwa, for not making more of an effort to come and see you while you were sick. You were in my prayers everyday, and I was so sure, on your behalf, that you would fight and overcome it. I was so sure. I spoke to Funmi every other week, staying abreast on your wellbeing and I believed in my heart that I would see you soon. I truly can’t believe you’re gone. But I know you’re in a better place; free of pain and full of peace. My memories of you are strong and vivid: that big smile and your very loud laugh....I promise, with Funmi and with everyone else that loved you so much, to help take care of Ella, and to help to make sure that she grows into the kind of woman that will one day make you proud. Beautiful, joyful, strong, accomplished. All the grand plans you had for her do not and will not have to change.

It’s my turn to beg you Tanwa. Oremi, joo, ma binu si mi. Sun Re O.

American Gangster: A Movie Review

So I went to see American Gangster yesterday. I loved it. I've had some debates over this movie with a few people. Some thought great, others thought over-hyped, and another said he expected a bit more from it, given the story. What can I say. But my reasons for loving it are pretty simple. I thought the cast was stellar. Other than the big cahunas, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, I've long admired and followed the works of John Ortiz (villian of Miami Vice) and Chiwetel Ejiofor (Dirty Pretty Things and Naija brother) whom I've blogged about before. Given Denzel's versatile talent, I haven't, however, liked him in much lately. I didn't much enjoy Manchurian Candidate, I loathed Training Day, which he won an Oscar for, and I didn't bother to watch Deja Vu. But in this flick, I really do think he extended himself and was at his best here, portraying and humanizing the character of Frank Lucas. He trully made it his own. The other major thing that had me going was the lesson in economics, business strategy and supply chain management that I got from this movie. It fed my fascination for stories of enterprising and formidable individuals across different genres of life. Like Roger Ebert said in his review, if you take out the heroin element, this would otherwise have made a great business case for business school learning, entrepreneurs and business professionals alike. Brilliant I thought.

I think I've given enough spoilers to it. Saymama gives American Gangster 4 1/2 stars out of 5. I highly recommend. Go and watch it. It's out in London on November 16th and hopefully will hit the theatres in Lagos soon too.

Remembering Dame Anita Roddick - R.I.P.

Anita Roddick lived the type of life I'm seeking to emulate in many ways; not just business-wise, but ethics-wise also. I can't believe she died just as I was beginning to plot how I'd meet her and make her my friend :-). I have looked up to her since my late teens, just as I was discovering and harnessing my love for all things scented, lotioned and potioned. I remember by first visit into The Body Shop. I felt like I was in heaven. I loved the Body Shop (and still do) and repeatedly over the last several years would go in and could stay in there, sniffing, smelling, spritzing and rubbing my hands with everything in there. I would come out smelling like I'd emptied the entire store on myself. Reading her story, she first inspired me to want to set up my own bath and body line and store, not just to mix and bottle divinely scented soaps and potions, but to do it with a conscience. Profit, but paying it forward at the same time, job creation in emerging communities, care about replenishing the environment, caring for the oppressed and destitute, but above all living life with a strong sense of purpose, each and every day. Without meeting or knowing her, this is the sort of energy that she radiated and I had always felt infected by it.

I do feel her loss painfully. I had so many questions I wanted to ask her when we finally would've met, pick her brain, have her mentor me.

I have no doubt that she's resting peacefully, with a big smile across her face, a life fulfilled and well lived. A wife, mother, entrepreneur, activist, environmentalist, human rights campaigner. A passionate lover of life, all rolled into one tiny woman.

October 23rd of last week would've been her 65th birthday. Click here to read her husband's moving tribute and here for her life's story. *Sigh*

Crackbook

The Facebook Epidemic! Madness!!!! Is this a new age cult movement or what. Why is "everybody" I know hooked on this thing (my humble self included)? People are facebooking at work, in elevators, while driving, from crackberries, i-phones, etc. What are they (we) doing on it exactly? Creeping on people's pages, gazing and critiquing their posted photos, looking out for who next will have a cool or funny 'status' update and the madness continues. Check out a computer near you, "anywhere", and chances are that someone's on facebook. Apparently, Facebook's been around for at least 4 years, but I and I know a million others, just caught on to it this year, with more people catching on by the hour! I find that I can't get through the day without logging on to it. And if I happen to be away from the internet for any significant amount of time, I find myslef going into withdrawal. Literally! And this is something I've witnessed all my 'friends' going through as well. What has this bloody thing ( and piece of joy) done to us? Taking up so much of our productive hours during the day? In the age of instant messaging, text messaging, real time emailing, "telephoning" even, I find that people have regressed to messaging via Facebook instead. I rarely get direct mails into my email box anymore. The messaging has now been diverted to my inbox on Facebook. People have gone off instant messaging and onto Facebook messaging instead, which is not as instant. It's crazy and I'm guilty of it too. What's the world coming to? It's comical but fascinating nonetheless.

Facebook, from what I understand was a social utility tool that was initially developed for college students. The demographics have changed vastly since then. The age groups on it vary from teeny-boppers to college students, to young working adults, to even slightly older adults (they even have a group on it called 'Agbayas on Facebook', which I found hilarious). The interaction communities also vary from deeply Nigerian social circles (or clicks), to southern African ones, to Kenyan ones, to Indian ones and so on. I check out my neice's page from time to time (she grew up in Sweden and no lives in France) and her circles are hugely Swedish and French also and activity is specifially in those languages!

I don't know what it is, but it's interesting and it's fun. Aside from contributing grossly to the rising unproductivity of individuals, I notice it serves also as an amazing networking and marketing tool at no cost. People are using it as a means of promoting their businesses and some are using it as faceless means of garnering attention to their otherwise shy selves. But you go everywhere and people are talking about Facebook, cackling over gist of what so and so is doing or what they said on someone else's page.

I was aware of other social utility forums, such as MySpace and Hi-Five etc, which I ignored and once thought to be silly things. But I was at a dinner party a month ago and it came up in conversation, i.e. Facebook vs. Hi-five (or whatever). I quickly chimed in and said Hi-5 is a fake Gucci bag and Facebook's the new Prada of social utility networks. And it's true!

I'm addicted..and happily so. I wonder, where was this stuff when I was in college? I probably would never have made it to class!!

Mark Zuckerberg, you're definitely on to something here. You've single-handedly redefined the whole concept of "friends" and "friendship"!

Bode Agusto

Yes, I know, this is old news. But it still bugs me. I was and am still infuriated over the fact that his ministerial nomination for the Finance portfolio was dropped by the 'powers that be'. I'm seriously biased, but in a good way. I know Mr. Agusto quite well and have had the opportunity to work for him in years past. He is undoubtably one of the most brilliant minds to come out of Nigeria and in my view would have been the ideal candidate for the position as well as the ideal person to continue the reversal of decay that has plagued the finance ministry for decades. Bode is also frugal, to a fault perhaps. And as his reputation may have preceeded him before he met with the senators on the floor of the House of Reps who had a big axe to grind, because they know that he won't give anybody the opportunity to chop and unscrupulously 'reallocate' funds as they please. Nigerian politics at its best.
I still regard this as a huge loss personally and to the Nigerian economy. Does this mean regression is imminent, or am I over-reacting?

To brush up on this issue, here are some of the editorials about it: The Sun News and on Janada's blog.

More TED...

Another insightful talk @ TED by Ethiopian-born economist, Eleni Gabre-Madhin (click to watch). She talks about the new Ethiopian Commodity Exchange that she founded, the first commodities market in Ethiopia intended to benefit small farmers, create wealth and further tackling the issue of aid for trade. This further testifies to the ongoing brain gain taking place across the continent and people applying their skills to ambitious projects within their respective countries. It's still a long road, but it's an exciting time to be African (and female). I'm loving me some TED! It's inspiring to have legitimate platforms dedicated to thinkers translating their thoughts into action. Time for the disturbing images of Africa to be translated to healthy radiant ones. Watch this space!

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala @ TED

Feeding further into my passion for gender empowerment and entrepreneurship, and the fact that I believe that African women are the key to Africa’s future, I recently came across this talk that Ngozi Iweala gave at the TED conference that took place in Arusha, Tanzania, early in the summer of this year. In a project I developed and presented on for an old employer that I interned with in New York, many moons ago, I was trying to make a solid case for why I thought they should set up offices in Africa and do business there. I remember calling my father in Nigeria trying to get some help and input into it from him regarding Africa and the issue with aid and trying to get him to explain some of the long-standing relationships that a lot of the older corporations such as Coca Cola, Peugeot, etc, had had with Africa and why newer companies were so resistant to setting up businesses there in spite of the seeming success that those other ones had made. He was the one who said to me all those years ago that replacing aid for trade is the more realistic way to combat a lot of Africa’s core economic issues as well as embracing the risk with open arms. That was over 7 years ago and I remember seeing the look of light bulbs going off in the room full of American executives when I said this while concluding my presentation. To be honest, as a junior in college, I don’t know how much sense it made to me then, but I really did feel like I was on to something. So did they as well.
Fast forward to now. This talk by Mrs. Iweala puts a very interesting spin on the issue of aid and trade. Brilliant actually. Check it out here.

Cassava Republic

This is a fairly new publishing company in Nigeria owned by good friends Jeremy and his wife. They publish both new writers and reproduce works of existing Nigerian writers in the diaspora. I love the fact that in quite a (not so) small but significant way, they are helping to revive the formally vibrant publishing industry in Nigeria. The books are made locally available and a lot of book clubs and literary social circles are springing up all over the place in Nigeria, from Lagos to Jos and perhaps beyond. As a result, there's a refreshing reading culture taking place and Nigerians at home and abroad are loving the fact that they are able to read great books from indigenous writers that tackle issues of personal interest and relevance.

So check out their latest newsletter below; and also check out their website. Oh, and did I mention how much I love the name, "Cassava Republic"?

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Dear reader
Welcome to our November newsletter. As the Damina season slowly turns into Harmattan, what better way to avoid the dusty Sahara wind than to stay at home with a good book. This coming month, we're publishing an array of wonderful titles that we are sure you'll enjoy, or buy as Christmas presents.
As well as the new books, prize-winning author Helon Habila tours the following cities in November: 17th Lagos - NuMetro Silverbird Galleria; 21st Abuja NuMetro - Ceddi Plaza; 21st Keffi - Nasawara State University; 22nd, Jos - University of Jos, 23rd Gombe Gombe State University. We'll shortly be sending you more details about the tour.
Happy reading!
Bibi Bakare-Yusuf
New Fiction

Measuring Time by Helon Habila
Measuring Time is the new novel by Helon Habila, a leading figure amongst the new generation of Post-Abacha Nigerian writers. This is an epic novel charting the turbulent recent history of Nigeria through the eyes of a single family. Twin brothers, Mamo and LaMamo grow up in a small Northern village, with a philandering and domineering father. With high hopes, they flee, but only LaMamo escapes. He joins a rebel group near the Chad border and meets Charles Taylor. Mamo, the sickly twin, gradually comes out of his father’s shadow and gains fame as a chronicler of his people.
Measuring Time has a cast of memorable characters: the devout Christian Aunt Mariana, the lustful widows, a blind witch and her dog, a drunken cousin, two unmarried daughters of a white American missionary, and Zara, Mamo’s bold and thoughtful lover. Read more

Waiting for an Angel by Helon Habila
Through seven interconnected narratives, Habila provides a strikingly cinematic and hallucinatory account of the difficulties of life under the Abacha dictatorship in Nigeria. The central character, Lomba, a young journalist, languishes in prison as his world has slowly crumbled. While the guards sleep, he begins to write. His story spirals backwards in time, telling the tale of the residents of Poverty Street, Lagos. We hear of resistance leader Joshua, in love with a former pupil turned prostitute, of Nancy, who finds solace covering walls with graffiti, and of Janice, forced to marry a General. Read more
Visit Helon Habila’s website

Every Day is for the Thief by Teju Cole
Every Day is for the Thief is a striking account of Nigeria in change. Through a series of portraits of everyday life in Lagos, Cole provides a fresh and captivating account of a young man revisiting the city of his childhood.
TV presenter Funmi Iyanda has this to say: “Not since Frank McCourt’s Angela's Ashes have I read stories that make you want to laugh and cry simultaneously written in simple, powerful discerningly honest prose. I read everyday without pausing for breath and emerged satiated that someone has written a book that accurately reflects the tragedy and triumphs of Lagos, a mean task if you know how complex this city is.” Read more
Fiction
A Tale of Two Covers
We’ve just reprinted two of our books.
Even though the demand for them was high, due to printing errors, we had to pull the books out of the market. Now we’ve redesigned the covers – see below (don’t they look irresistible!) For the 3,000 of you with pre-paid orders, you’ll be getting your copies in the post shortly.

Kemi’s Journal – Abidemi Sanusi
Kemi’s Journal is a sassy first novel about a twenty-something high-flying born-again Christian advertising executive who must reconcile her faith with a demanding career, pleasing family, trying to get over her non-believing, but adorable ex-boyfriend Zack. Although her faith is sometimes strong and can resist temptations and other times God takes a back seat as the arms of Zack appears more alluring. This is a bold, page-turning novel that tackles the moral decisions many people have to make about crisis of faith, sex before marriage, unplanned pregnancy and career with openness and maturity. Read more

Zack’s Story – Abidemi Sanusi
Zack’s Story, is the sequel to Kemi’s Journal. Here, we get to hear Zack’s side of the story: he didn’t plan to be a father, but now that baby Yanis is on the scene, he is determined to take parenting seriously whilst dealing with some of the dark shadows of his past. As for being a husband, he’s wanted that for a long time – but the volatile Kemi he loves so much doesn’t make it easy. And neither does the office temptress, Maxine. Then there’s a career to be built as a big shot corporate lawyer. Read more
Visit Abidemi Sanusi’s website

26a by Diana Evans
Diana Evans’ lyrical, enchanting first novel tells the coming-of-age story of Bessi and Georgia, identical twins growing up in Neasden and Nigeria, and the story of their mixed race family. Read more
We hope that there's something that appeals to you on our currrent list. For information about where to find our books, please email us at info@cassavarepublic.biz.
Events
EVENTS
November is a busy month in the Nigerian Literary calendar. Why not check out the following events:
The 2nd Northern Zonal Book Fair, 29th October - 2nd November, Abuja at the National Centre for Women's Development, Opposite Central Bank of Nigeria, Tafawa Balewa Way, Abuja. 9 - 5pm daily. This event is organised by the Nigerian Book Foundation. It will be attended by those involved in the book industry in the whole of the Northern region. There will be a series of talks, seminars, book signing and book exhibitions. For further information, call: 0803 379 4389.
The Association of Nigerian Authors (ANA) 26th International Convention, Owerri from 1st – 4th November, 2007. Contact Denja Abdullahi: denjabb@yahoo.com 0805 786 8575
The Annual Lagos Book and Art Festival and the 3rd Lagos Comics and Cartoons Carnival.Date: November 9-11, 2007Venue: National Theatre, Iganmu, LagosClick here for more details.
Helon Habila Tours the following cities in November: Lagos 17th at NuMetro Silverbird Galleria; Abuja 21st NuMetro at Ceddi Plaza; 21st Nasawara State University in Lafia; 22nd, University of Jos, 23rd Gombe State University.
For further information: info@cassavarepublic.biz
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Blogging Again!

I've been off the blogger circuit for a while now and happy to finally be back into it (blame it on Facebook!). I've had a lot that I've been meaning to blog about, lots of pieces that I began to write, meant to post, but never quite got around to it. Procastination is a disease I'm desperately seeking a cure from, so if any of you have any special potions out there to recommend, pls do!
Anyhow, please excuse the out-of-dateness of some of the posts you'll be reading, but since I had enough of an opinion to start to write about them in the first place, I'm going to go ahead and post them anyway! Some of them are issues that still bug me, a little :-)
Salut!

Bidemi - A Poem

A toddler's beauty
ebony black glowing
the whitest smile
the fullest of lashes
biggest brown eyes ever paired
brimming with intelligence,
curdling with fire
tiny and belly-potted
full of love and affection
content with nature's simplicity
mangoes in their tree
mud huts and their thatched hats
Apata - a place called home
at one with God and his sky.

By: Me.. May '05

I wrote this poem a little over 2 years ago. It was inspired by this little girl, Abidemi, that I met on Erimo Ori Oke ( a prayer mountain) that I climed with my mother, just a few miles outside of Osogbo. I was so reluctant to go on that trip..I remember thinking to myself "this woman (my mother) has lost it". But that trip turned out to be one of the most purifying experiences in my life (and there haven't been many). There was this small village community up there..maybe a total of 50 people at best. Bidemi was a little chubby 3 year old daughter of one of the mountain keepers. And I fell in love with this little angel. She just clung to me and we had the most amazing little conversation in Yoruba. I loved her so much I wanted to take her back home with me and adopt her and just give her everything. I jokingly asked her if she would come back to Lagos with me and she said to me 'only if her dad could come along'. Can you imagine!! I found that to be so honest and mature for a 3 year old. I was amazed by how these people, who had so little, still had immense contentment. Including Bidemi, who juse seemed so content and on top of the world, literally, with her life. Even at age 3 she emanated that. She wanted to be my friend, but was in no hurry to leave her life or family behind. I got back to Lagos and continued to think about this girl, who gave me so much to think about. Life and contentment. What were those things exactly? This community have no light, no running water, just the clean air and a view to die for. Yet they all seemed to just get on with it all, surviving and living, joyously.
Thanks to the phenomena of 'gsm' which worked all the way up that high-a*s mountain, I was able to keep in touch with her by calling her mother's phone.
So since I wasn't able to take her home with me and make her mine (as crazy as that may sound) I decided that I could still adopt her from afar. I've continued to stay in touch and she has now started nursery school down the mountain in a small nearby village. I send her clothes and dolls and that kinda stuff and books to read (I even found some children's books in Yoruba for her) pretty regularly, check up on her schooling and things like that.
I just thought about her today and decided to publish this piece that I wrote. I wish though, that I'd had the presence of mind to have taken my digicam up there. I don't even have a photo of her. I was too busy kicking and screaming my way up the mountain. *sigh*.

Seven Things...

1. That I'm grateful for the gift of life, which I took for granted without even knowing. I have a new leash on life right now and won't ever compromise or take my health, or my happiness for granted again.

2. That deep down, I really want to love and be loved back in return.

3. That for the past seven or eight years, I've had a crush on one of my favorite mentors..(he may or may not be freaked out by this crazy revelation). He is 'the' most amazing man I know. "THE".

4. That I really can't imagine life without my mother. Not now, not ever.

5. That if I'm not married in the next two years, I've decided that I'm going to adopt a baby girl.

6. That even if I marry in two years, I'm going to adopt a baby girl anyways!

7. That losing my aunt to HIV late last year, really brought this epidemic home to me. It's still so hushed in our society and seen only as the 'poor man's disease'. The denial to HIV and AIDS in our society, especially amongst the elite is shameful.

+1: That it's important that one marries or ends up with the best sex they've ever had. The number of young African (Nigerian) women settling for mediocre or lousy sex in long term partnerships is alarming. Catastrophic even!

Thanks to Jeremy for this idea.

"Lagos: The New York of Africa"

A friend of mine in LA sent me this article below. From the title, I started out to read this article thinking it would have some interesting things to say, like literally..'comparisons to New York'. But alas.....!!!! I'm so sick of these tongue-in-cheek negative and continuously insular articles written about Nigeria. Read on and let me know what you think. I have 2 words: Vanity Fair. But expect my retort on this shortly. In the midst of so much negative remarks and reviews rolling of the tongues of many about poor Africa or porr Nigeria and it's plight, part of my mission is to try to fairly highlight some of the "good" that does exist in our country and on the continent, inspite of the obvious setbacks of poor governance. Like Iman said in the current July '07 edition of Vanity Fair (a must check out), "I get insulted when I see only the images of our dying, our wars, our Dafur, our AIDS wictims...not our doctors, our nurses, our teachers...Africa must find its own saviours: the salvation of Africa is in the hands of African women."

More venting on this issue in a bit.

Lagos: 'The New York of Nigeria'
It is among the world's fastest-growing cities, at once a chaotic megalopolis and a thriving center of entrepreneurship.
By Robyn Dixon, Times Staff WriterJune 25, 2007

Photo Gallery
Exploding cityLAGOS, NIGERIA — Away from the noise and hustle and stink, the shriek of energy, the never-ending buzz that is Lagos, a man reclines on a gravestone, serenely reading a book.His name is Immortal, and he sells life insurance. He says he is waiting for an angel."I just come here to relax," says Immortal Emenike, 40, from his unexpected haven in Trinity Cemetery in Olodi Apapa neighborhood. "I like the serenity, the fresh air. It's very hard to find in Lagos." Nearby, a goat named Sikira nibbles on the vegetation. Outside is a wall of sound: buzzing motorcycles, car horns and traffic. Like many Lagosians, Immortal appears nonplused if you ask him what he loves about the raucous mega-city he calls home. He has a passion for Lagos, yet seems wary of questions, in case they're not kindly meant."Lagos is like the New York of Nigeria," he says. "It's a jungle where a lot of things can happen. Things that don't happen anywhere will happen in Lagos: the unexpected."Lagos is one of the planet's fastest-growing mega-cities, with people drawn not only from rural Nigeria but also from all over West Africa to hack out a living. Depending on your point of view, it's either a center of irrepressible entrepreneurialism or a nightmarish city of unplanned chaos, a cautionary tale on what not to do.No one is sure whether the population is 9 million, as last year's house-to-house census claimed; 16 million, as estimated by the U.N. Population Fund; or 17 million, as the Lagos state government insists. The United Nations agency has predicted that Lagos will be the world's third most-populous city by 2015, with 23 million people.It's not a place for the fainthearted. From the first wallop of steamy air on alighting from a plane, Lagos is a plunge pool of intense exhilaration, jumbled with measures of shock, frustration, rage and boredom. Despite poverty, intractable social problems, mind-boggling corruption and dire failures of planning and infrastructure, "I think this total doomsday scenario that Lagos is going to be this total Dickensian horror place is not right either," says Daniel J. Smith, a demographic anthropologist at Brown University. "Nigerians have lived with the failure of their government to provide leadership and infrastructure for a long time, and so they have adapted all these ways to make things work."There's this incredible ethic and tradition of entrepreneurship, and maybe that's related to living in a place where you can't count on the government to provide services and amenities."Dutch architect Rem Koolhaas has argued that the mega-cities of the future will look like Lagos: chaotic and spontaneous with planning solutions improvised on the run rather than following some master plan.Even arriving can be a shock. "Lagos airport? In a word, don't," cautions the Lonely Planet Bluelist of destinations to avoid at all costs.Borne downward on the airport arrival hall escalator, international visitors arriving for the presidential inauguration at the end of May found themselves trapped, with a solid crowd bottlenecked at the bottom. They crashed into a wall of backs, tripped, stumbled, even leaped over the sides, literally falling into Lagos with a thunk.Then there's the metal jigsaw of rickety trolleys pressed around the baggage carousels and sometimes a wait of hours to collect as huge bags of traders' goods are unloaded.Outside, license plates proclaim that you've arrived in "Lagos: Center of Excellence." The jostling thoroughfares are much more than mere arteries for the choking traffic. The roadside is an open-air market, a car sales yard, a photo studio; a truck depot, pool hall, butcher's; a lumber yard, an office, a sheep yard; a place to hang laundry on the highway sidings, or to nap on any available surface.There are some sights that strain credulity: A city skyscraper just folded like a house of cards one weekend.Papered all over walls and suspended from any pole are advertising billboards and banners, as though the city were screaming out its own exuberant and often perplexing monologue: "Food is ready." "Slow down, bridge under investigation." "Plumber is here." "We paste posters." "Keep off the wall." "No parking no waiting no hawking." "Please pay your tax regularly." "Do not urinate here. It is prohibit." "Don't offend our ancestors with fakes. Insist on the original prayer drink." "Overhead banners are prohibited." "It is illegal to have anything to do with touts. You may end up facing various miscellaneous offenses."Taxis are plastered with biblical verses and homespun advice: "Love everyone Trust no-one." "Watch and See." "No controversy." Businesses grab attention by turning to religion: "God is Able Store." "Heaven Economics." "Miracle Outfits." "Divine Ultrasound." Then there are more the bizarre appeals, such as the "Peculiar Beauty Salon," or the "Cholesterol Hair Conditioner" found in some outlets.The exuberance is reflected in Lagosians' flamboyant clothing and the startling towers of bright material that women wear on their heads like flames of color. There are nightclubs where patrons fling all the plastic tables and chairs into the air when things are really humming.Taiwo Adeyeye, 19, arrived alone from the town of Ogbomosho in Oyo state in April. "I love it because it's a commercial city. It's a place where you get a lot of buyers for your wares," says Adeyeye, who lives in a room behind a baker's shop and walks all day in the sauna-like heat selling bread from a tray on her head."It's not really everything that I'd want," she says of her room and job. In the little leisure she has, "I just walk around the area. I feel good walking around. The things I see all around excite me."Smith, the demographic anthropologist, says that despite government failures and corruption, Lagosians have developed small trusting business networks, allowing them to survive and profit."People look at a place like Lagos and some of them think, 'Why would anyone ever want to go there, because it's so big and populated and there's so much poverty?' " he says. "But people are carving out a living better than they would have been able to had they stayed at home."People have managed to cobble together an informal economic infrastructure that enables them to carry out all these commercial activities somehow. Everyone's getting water for their homes somehow, and every business manages to hire a generator to keep their business going." Ezekial Charles, 38, a pastor and businessman who arrived seeking his fortune in 2001, sits in the shade of a tree surrounded by litter a few yards from a busy highway."I think you get used to it. When there's no light it sometimes is painful, but still I feel happy," he says, referring to the long and frequent power outages. "I love the population, the way business is flowing. A few people are honest, let's say a quarter of them. People here can help you and make life easier for you."Even the rich cannot escape the city's notorious traffic jams. But for the poor, opportunity knocks with every "go-slow." Buyers collect their purchase before paying, in case the traffic moves along. Then, according to local etiquette, it's up to the seller to run thundering along to collect the cash and give change. The traffic lanes are always busy with the sound of flip-flopping feet in cheap Chinese footwear and the shout of traders plying their goods.Everywhere there are entrepreneurial openings: Two boys put up a traffic cone blocking access from a clogged artery to a highway, demanding money to pass. When one driver refuses to pay, he and one of the boys scream at each other, waving arms and blazing with fury. Just as it seems someone will pull out a gun, the row abruptly evaporates. The cone is removed. The driver passes."Roads are the worst planning problem," Lagos state government planner Benedict Kehinde says. "I can say that there wasn't any planning. The government would acquire land, and people just moved on and constructed buildings, so it becomes difficult to build roads on that land. So you have to wind your way around the existing structures." At times the city is visual anarchy, with piles of uncollected trash, mountains of jumbled timber, abandoned car skeletons, tires. Lagos produces half a million tons of trash a day, according to a recent environmental report to the state government, and much of it is collected and dumped anywhere by freelancers.A train drifts by with people crowded on the roof. Traffic buzzes the wrong way up a one-way street, spreading across the lanes like waters in front of the opposing traffic flow. Lounging near two dusty outdoor pool tables on a recent election day, civil servant Kola McCauley, 30, waxes lyrical about his hometown."I love my city. I love Lagos. It's very lovely. The people, they're very intelligent. They're very versatile. They're very hospitable and accommodating," he says as a screaming match erupts between voters and polling officials a few yards from where he sits and police have to be called in.Mostly, Lagosians know when to stop. But not always, says Immortal in the cemetery, taking a break from his book."You have to be cautious all the time. Maybe I'm walking and I step on your shoes, even if it's by mistake. It can cause a big fight, and in the end the police arrive. It's because of the pressure of society."You see it every day. Things that should be cooled down are blown up like a volcano. The serenity here helps me to mellow and think of good things."
robyn.dixon@latimes.com