Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Truth - By Temi Adepoju

(With humble permission from a friend, Temi Adepoju, who wrote this..don't think I could've articulated it on..)

As women we are divine beings- made to love and be loved- I mean, men want and need to be loved as well- but women - we need it on a whole new level. We can choose to accept this important part of our makeup or deny it and run away from it- creating a lot of uneccessary pain, hurt and bad choices (in love).I've always believed we have much more at stake as women- afterall, we're the species that release the hormone progesterone after sex -talk about catching feelings faster and deeper than the guy- Then we have the babies (lets not even talk about the excruciating pain of that), whose umbilical cords contains this magical hormone as well so we're designed to always be in tune with our offspring and cannot abandon them- unlike most animals in nature. We are usually the #1 caregivers and home makers, the nurturing mammals under whose care the family blossoms, we're instinctive and intuitive, basically able to plan stages ahead for the unexpected and all over the world we are the worker bees, the mules and the pack horses (especially black women) . There're more women engaged in breadwinning activites including farming, both in developing countries and the West! So whats the point of having all of the responsibilty and none of the glory, sweetness, the loving, the divine feminine aspects? None! But we do this to ourselves- we let ourselves be treated like pack mules, instead of the beautiful, fragile, but strong creatures we are. Remember, "people treat you the way you let them" (Oprah W.)Let me break it down this way- Sisters- enjoy your femininity, elevate your womanhood, revel in your abilities, enjoy the love and respect of your men- and teach your little girls not just how to be the 'little helpers' but how to engage the boys and men in their lives to support, protect and love them. Teach the boy-child how to love and protect his sisters/mothers/cousins, how to encourage and help them flower into beautiful powerful beings- If your men won't then teach these boys the practicals of cooking, opening the door for ladies, ideals of 'ladies first', holding out the dining chair and all around chilvalry- don't complain about the lack of these qualities (as if you're not contributing)- afterall we're mainly in charge of raising the family and crafting these young 'uns minds and behaviors. (No doubt, I've made a huge assumption that you've chosen your mate, carefully and in faith that you have the same ideals, and plan to walk the earth and grow together as long as possible- and he is your #1 supporter)Speak your truth, speak it often- take time out for yourself. Allow yourself to be pampered- ask for it! Show and tell- don't expect a mind read ladies- especially if your guy is african- most likely he wasn't brought up this way- but I assure you he is willing and open to pleasing his queen, the way she pleases him and blesses his life with her love, grace and beauty!

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